Goals/Target/To-do list

It`s been a while since my thoughts bothered me so much till I can`t sleep. I`m not sure what prompted this, but there are so many things running in my head right now. I think, at the top is probably my academic results.

It has made me quite depress after scoring quite badly last year. I had a 3.53 gpa and it partially contributed to the reason why I took a semester off. My cgpa went to 3.75 after that and the prospect of graduating with a 3.85 (my initial target in my 1st year) is unachievable. It was disappointing when the Student Affairs Division and Exam unit wanted to recommend me for the President`s Award (highest award given to a student) but couldn`t because of my horrible grades. (they need at least a 3.8).

It was the first time that I was limited by academic performance. Having been slightly above average all the time, things usually fall in my favor. I got into the university of my choice, the scholarship that I wanted. When facing with this stumbling block, I felt like a crippled. I had absolutely no confidence in my application to Cambridge due to such mediocre academic performance. I don`t have good communication skills or any special talent in engineering to boast either.

I have been side track too many times, but for now, I think the first step is to get my grades back up to 3.8. I found out there are 2 subject that I can retake to push my grades significantly. Those two subjected that I screwed up pretty badly due to my commitment to debate tournaments. Since I don`t have that much time to spare, I`ll probably retake one of it. Just by dropping that subject will pushed my current grades to 3.78, and scoring an A will push it up to 3.796. If I go all out and take another subject while scoring A for the rest, I can effectively push it back up to 3.86.

Though that would mean having no life at all, camping in library everyday, and waking up for 8am classes. I definitely don`t think it`s worth it. There are so much that I wanted to do. Fulfilling the vision of the student publication board, ensuring my debating club have proper leaders to take over and continue to achieve.

So after all this reflection in the past two hours, these are the things that I have pledge to do:

1) Consult my lecturer on retaking Strength of Material (first year subject)

2) Graduate with at least a 3.80 pointer.

3) Win an engineering award for my final year project.

4) Ensure daily update on my university online news portal.

5) Getting at least 1000 people on campus to read the news

6) Daily meetings for the board 3-5 pm.

7) Daily group study session at night. 8-10pm

All I need now is the strength and will to carry on.

Wow, A complete lack of updates.

I`ve been writing a fair bit over the past week. None of it is on this blog, or msn shout outs or on facebook. It seems there`s very little attachment left for my online social networking sites. I finally have a life? Lol

Significant highlights in the past 1 week.

1) I`m extremely glad to see more than 25 articles in the pipeline since came in to help to restructure the Student Publication Board. I have also get a fair bit of complain of "Bossy, likes to order people around" title. Which is absolutely fine with me.

2) Argubly, also earned the title of most kepoh student on campus. I knew exactly what event`s happening at what time, and place, and the reporter who`s assigned to write up on those article. On the contrary, I don`t even know my lectures time table.

3) Skipped too many class that I think attendance now stands at 10%

4) I moved my piano to my new home and got it tune. It sounds amazingly nice, though I barely have time to play it.

5) Went for a lan party last Saturday and played Dota in a team fulled of pro players. It`s extremely scary. My team won before any of the other team reach lvl 10. I contributed absolutely nothing to the team :)

6) My uncle came down to took my motorcycle back home. I tried not to use the car too often and got myself a bicycle instead to save the environment.

I guess that`s the updates for now. I need some motivation to go to class and study for my mid term next week. I think I`ll be in serious trouble if I continue skipping more classes. Till then :)

The quest to get a banner

Alex goes to ask someone:

Person A : The banner is in the store room
*goes to the store room and finds it lock.

Person A: The key to the room is with Person B
*goes to person B

Person B : Oh, the door lock is actually spoil.
*for how long?
: couple of months
*then why are you not fixing it?
: waiting for person C to buy the replacement lock
* goes to person C

Person C : I think we have a spare lock somewhere in the room. Ask back Person A
* goes to person D

Person A : Ouh, yea we do have a lock, but we don`t want to break it down. We need to ask the maintenance guy.
* loses patience: then why don`t you call the maintenance guy.
: It`s lunch hour. I`ll call after lunch.

2 hours later

Person A: Oh, I forgot to call, let me call them now.

1 hours later :

*maintenance guy no where to be found.

At the end of the day;

The store room is still lock and no banner

Academic Week 1

Phew. I`m actually quite relieved.

I think a lot have happened, and I really felt like a different person already.

There are a few milestones this week.

1) Completing my internship.

2) Moving out of my old house and into a new one with my classmate

3) Resolved my credit hour issue

4) Settled my course registration

5) Selected a lecturer for my Final Year Project

6) Dealt with my whole emotional swings with regards to my previous relationship.

7) Rejoin the Student Publication Board.

Things will be slightly different this year and I`m looking forward to a exciting final year :)

The last weekend

It was as quiet as it can get. One would expect people to party till they drop dead on their last. Any last. Here I am, spending 12 hours in the office, walking endlessly on Jusco, wondering whether I should buy the shoe that I have been eying for the past one month.

There are things I had in mind. Like going for a hike at Penang, walking around the day, or just spending my afternoon at the botanical garden. But in my plans, there`s always someone there. In the absences of companies, those plans doesn`t seem too interesting anymore. The internet and arcade filled in the void just fine.

So, here`s to my last weekend at Penang. A toast to the end of 4 months's (academic) isolation and a life back in Malacca.

*in all fairness, I did enjoy my time here. I had my share of clubbing, hangovers during the morning in office, and sports till I can barely move. Cheers.

There will be times when one listen to a song, he'll say, 'that`s exactly what I`m feeling right now'. Often, we marveled at how words by other can accurately reflect our feeling, especially when we fail to express them with our own.

The following poem is written by Joash back in 2007. It was as relevant then as it is now. In the midst of uncertainty, I find this comforting.

Title : To say I love you.

To say I love you, is more than just words from the mouth
It's more than just mere stuff that any guy would say to a pretty girl hoping that the girl would respond
But it's a commitment I promise not to you, but to myself
To be there for you whether or not you need me by your side

To say I love you, is more than just a present
A gift that can be bought with money or prizes
But it's a price that has been paid for, with tears and pain
To put that smile not just on your face, but in your heart

To say I love you, is nothing about wanting you
It's nothing about hoping that you can be there for me or that you will always be by my side
But it's about letting you have the best you can ever want
Even if it means that you will never put me first even if I make you the princess of my heart

To say I love you, is always about you and you alone
Your happiness, your laughter, your joy, your life
To hope that you will always have the best in life, to give you the best of me
Even if it requires me to love you without being loved in return

To say I love you, it means more than anything to me
Coz I know that at the end of the day, it's not what you do in return that truly matters
But what I've done for you, and what I can do to you, that could make a difference
Even if love hurts to much and if the process gets to painful

You see,
when many can love each other, not everyone can love without being loved in return
when many can wait for each other, not everyone can wait for nothing

Yet when someone makes that decision to wait and love with no assurance of a future,
that brings out the true essence of love altogether
Coz Love, after all,
is about giving without getting
is about paying without receiving
is about dying to yourself for others
and to hang on even when it gets too hard and tough.

To say I love you,
I truly mean it, and I do mean it. Just hope you'll understand.

Inspiration

I dire need for writer`s inspiration to write my Internship report, Final Year project proposal and Graduate School application. Over usage of verbal broken English translate into writing as well. I can`t help but loathed the things I write. Message are lost in the midst of those jumbled up sentence.

Where do journalist get their inspiration from?

I`m sad.

Today, I'm sad:

because I felt like I`m invisible at the work place.

because a friendship was lost due to food.

because I couldn`t even keep a conversation with someone I really want to talk to at that moment.

because when I really need someone to listen, no one in mind pops up.

because nothing can be done to change these no matter how sorry, or hard I try.

Effie's visit to KL

About 3 weeks ago, Effie came with her bf, Jonathan for a short holiday in Malaysia. I find my self knowing embarrassingly little about my own country. We were to meet at the Islamic Arts Musuem, and I don`t know where it is. Heck, I never even knew we had one.

*and I`m pretty damm sure all you Malaysians who are reading this have no clue where it is either.

It was a pretty good museum. Fantastic design, surprisingly well maintained (obviously from government funding), and like all government`s white elephant project, completely deserted. At the cafe, we were pretty much the only person around. While every single road in kl is cramped with family cars heading for their weekend shopping.

I forgot to take picture in that museum, but I did take a few at the Bird Park about 1km away from the place. Bet you didn`t know either, that the KL Bird Park is the largest covered aviary in the world. I`ll swear I never going to offer to be a tour guide in KL anymore. lol. (at least without researching before hand).

The park was quite amazing in my opinion. They had a cafe where one can have tea and food at the balcony with birds flying around you. And we a silly looking horn bill staring at us for quite some time.

Little did we know, it was a diversion. The horn bills real aim is the left over food at the table beside us.

With a bill that long, its a wonder how they eat. Chewing a simple fries required techniques of throwing, biting, moving it to a different angle, bite again...... jeez, and I thought our life are difficult.

*btw, anyone realized that Effie look remarkably identical to Claire in that picture?.